Tag: #TraumaticBrainInjury

TSC Talks Guest Nikki Lawley Exceptional Circumstances

TSC Talks guest Nikki Lawley is a former pediatric nurse, former blackjack dealer, and much more, who went from a full active life to chronic daily pain and other debilitating symptoms after suffering a traumatic brain injury while on the job in 2016. This is the story of how it happened, what happened and how she’s been able to move from existing in survival mode to having a life filled with hope despite ongoing challenges.

TSC Talks guest Nikki Lawley is a former pediatric nurse, former blackjack dealer, and much more, who went from a full active life to chronic daily pain and other debilitating symptoms after suffering a traumatic brain injury while on the job in 2016. This is the story of how it happened, what happened and how she’s been able to move from existing in survival mode to having a life filled with hope despite ongoing challenges. In her own words; “since my (TBI) injury, one of the things that I’ve learned more than anything is about living in the moment. My life changed a second and I can’t go back and write a new ending, but I sure can start now and I just have really become more human with this injury. ”

Here are a few relevant quotes from the transcript~full transcript linked below:

“So I began the search for a diagnosis. It was hell, I was always a respected colleague in the medical field. And every doctor I went to was like, we don’t understand why your symptoms are so long. We don’t understand why you’re not better yet. We don’t understand this headache that never goes away. How can you have a headache 24 /7. I’m like, I have a headache. 24/7. I have a headache that never goes away. And they basically told me that it was psychological at one point, and it was so de-humanizing for a person that’s never had mental health challenges and extreme situations, to be told, like, this is all in your head. Really nothing wrong with you. And it was like, Whoa, is it really in my head? No, and I mean, chill. When I say I was upbeat and happy, you know, I was different than I was before. I was really quick, really witty really able to, you know, snapback and had a really fun life. I’m a different Nikki and I’m differently-abled, but I feel that patients are the experts, and they are not heard. We are not heard from a patient perspective. When I tell the doctor, this medicine isn’t working. Why do I have to be in question?”

She goes on to say,

“It wasn’t like a panacea that like one day I just opened my eyes and oh, cannabis is here. Oh, I’m all better. That’s not how it works. Yeah, the universe has allowed me to explore. Honestly, it’s allowed me to be able to understand my injury, it’s been able to help me help others. I was able to see that cannabis isn’t so bad. It’s given me hope when I had none. and removing the stigma of this plant is honestly what’s in my heart that I really want to help do.”

On the state of Cannabis legislation,

“But I’ve learned so much about this plant, and there’s so much more to learn. And right. We’re just at the beginning, really any of us. Exactly. And New York State is looking at legalization. Yes. I keep seeing that. Is that gonna happen? Well, I was part of it for the last two years and nothing happened. And it was incredibly disappointing. Incredibly. They all got a position so they can make the most money off of it, I think there’s so much of that behind it. I don’t know all of it. But oh, no, you’re 100%. And I really didn’t understand that. Like I always just heard people say that, but let me assure you, that’s it. I’ve never seen a more corrupt system literally starting at the very, very top of how it all works together.”

“So I had to fight to just see the right providers, I spent so much money out of pocket. Workers’ compensation pays for next to nothing. Yeah, unless you have specific doctors that they are willing to pay for, you can’t get care, right. Everything was a struggle from medical massage, physical therapy, to cognitive therapy, you name it, they fought you on it. And then to have independent medical exams that are paid for by the insurance company, and they spend literally three and a half minutes with me. They look at all the medical records and say alright, she can return to work in six weeks, and she has no problems.”

For the full transcript: https://otter.ai/u/EDWInbGkx7qAhus2lgEyjYilyoM

Nikki’s links:
Linktree: https://linktr.ee/Nikkilawley
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikki-lawley-aa281517/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nikki.lawley
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lawleynikki/?hl=en
Recent podcast: https://player.fm/series/coffee-party-usa-radio/i-want-access-4-all-nurse-nikki-lawley-stops-by-for-a-cup-of-joe
Blog article: https://www.mikesmedicines.com/medical-marijuana/cannabis-shopping-with-nikki-lawley-everyone-is-unique/

Nikki’s first interview with TSC Talks is here

TSC Talks Guest Nikki Lawley

TSC Talks guest Nikki Lawley is a former pediatric nurse, former blackjack dealer and much more, who went from a full active life to chronic daily pain and other debilitating symptoms after suffering a traumatic brain injury on the job in 2016. This is the story of how it happened, what happened and how she’s been able to move from existing in survival mode to having a life filled with hope despite ongoing challenges. In her own words; “since my (TBI) injury, one of the things that I’ve learned more than anything is about living in the moment. my life changed a second and I can’t go back and write a new ending, but I sure can start now and I just have really become more human with this injury. ”

Nikki states: “I suffered both a traumatic brain (TBI) and whiplash injury to my neck. Due to this, I have been unable to work as a nurse ever since. My injury also comes with some debilitating symptoms, which include cognitive issues, chronic headaches, and severe neck pain. Cannabis helps alleviate my pain, bringing it from a 7/10 daily pain and down to a more tolerable 2 and 3. Other symptoms of my injury include impacted balance/coordination, visual impairment, and depression/anxiety.”

She details what was an active, chock full life, growing up in Buffalo, NY, relocating to Fort Myers, FLA and then returning to the Buffalo area, having to change careers moving from nursing to HVC sales, working at a local Planned Parenthood and back to nursing, as well as taking on a second job as a blackjack dealer at a local casino. After listening to Nikki talk about how she was able to roll with life’s challenges repeatedly and reinvent herself time after time, one can see how life as she knew it coming to a screeching halt after her TBI, was a brutal blow. It was in part, the perseverance and tenacity from years of walking through changes and challenges that gave her the ability to push to find answers and not give up after her injury.

Regarding the aftermath of the TBI, she states, “And I expected to be out a day, maybe two, definitely not three-plus years. And when I say, I could not cognitively function, I could not stop the head pain. I literally cried for the first year after my injury so often, because I just, I had so many different medications and yeah, so many treatments failed and people were like, “Well, it can’t be from the concussion.” She goes on to further explain, “So two of my ligaments are completely level three in the front and they really caused a huge amount of issues as far as, I get no cerebral spinal fluid CSF flow to my frontal parts of my brain because of the way the bones are and again, it causes complete compression and occlusion of the CSF flow. The neurosurgeon said, Oh, you don’t need surgery will wire back to work and, and I constantly felt like I had to tell people my side of the story like I’m not crazy people, there’s something really wrong. It is not normal to never not have a headache. So one of the biggest things that devastated me and probably the most of my cognitive challenges was I can’t count anymore. When I worked at the casino, I emptied a deck of cards. So fast in blackjack, and I could count like backward. Just never a challenge. I cannot count higher (now) consistently than five.”

So after years of seeking treatments, paying out of her own pocket repeatedly, traveling around the country and doing everything and anything she could to lessen the daily nightmare she was living in, on a trip to Vegas, she saw a “sign from God” in the form of a billboard advertising,

“So I’m standing outside looking and it’s hot, and it’s like, the sun’s on my face. So, I should be feeling happy because I came out of Buffalo in January. I wonder though. They have these driving billboards on the Vegas Strip, and I see this “get your medical cannabis card today. ..call one 800 get your weed card” and I’m like, I doubt that’ll help. And then it comes back by again. What the hell? So, my husband came back from a walk because he said I literally can’t stand to be around you. I have to get out of the room. Yeah. So I mentioned to him when he gets back, I’m like, there’s this billboard, “get your weed card”, you know and he said do it. He said, “Do it like just do it now. Let’s do it.”

Nikki was finally able to find some relief with some guidance and using particular strains of cannabis that she has only been able to find in Nevada and Canada. The cannabis took her pain from a daily level 7/10 to a 2/3 on the pain scale. However, it has been incredibly frustrating not to have access to the strains of cannabis that actually work in her home state of NY due to restrictive regulations. Nikki often travels to Nevada and Canada to find the right strains that give her the relief that allows her to function.

Throughout this journey, despite hitting some true “window ledges” where she didn’t know how she was going to go on, she’s come back to being a passionate and eloquent advocate for TBI survivors, sharing her story of hope and the amazing potential of the cannabis plant every chance she gets.

“What I do now is I just started sharing my story. I sent it to Mike (Mike Robinson, Cannabis Advocate/Activist) and I have a very good friend Rachelle Gordon, who is a writer for financial cannabis news. And she kind of helped me lose some of the rambles and make my story more concise. And then I said to Mike, “I don’t know do you think this is worth having more exposure? Do you think people want to hear about this?” You know, I’m not trying to be famous in any way shape or form. I’m just trying to promote awareness.”

For Nikki, while cannabis has provided relief, she still struggles with misunderstanding and judgment because injuries related to TBI are invisible. Sharing this final quote here;

“But you know, if nothing else, since this injury, I’ve learned so many things about chronic illness, and how, how much is misunderstood about it. And just because somebody doesn’t have a broken leg or isn’t in a wheelchair doesn’t mean they’re not disabled, it doesn’t mean that they’re not challenged in some way. If I use my parking sticker, it’s usually when it’s icy out, and I met a huge risk fall risk. So I still suffer with dizziness and balance issues and depth perception issues. I feel guilty that as the person using that sometimes, and I shouldn’t.”

There’s a lot more in this episode you don’t want to miss! Thank you Nikki Lawley for the inspiration and education on TBI, cannabis and dealing with life!

Nikki’s links:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikki-lawley-aa281517/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nikki.lawley
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lawleynikki/?hl=en
Recent podcast: https://player.fm/series/coffee-party-usa-radio/i-want-access-4-all-nurse-nikki-lawley-stops-by-for-a-cup-of-joe
Blog article: https://www.mikesmedicines.com/medical-marijuana/cannabis-shopping-with-nikki-lawley-everyone-is-unique/
Nikki’s book suggestion: https://www.amazon.com/Medical-Cannabis-Primer-Ushering-Marijuana/dp/1885176023

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TBI One Love: https://www.tbionelove.com/single-post/TBI-One-Love-Survivor-Nikki-Lawley